Call Me A ‘Socialite’ If You Must—But Don’t Call Me Late for Dinner

Our college freshman seemed a bit nonplussed when she returned home for spring break to find that I have moved on from my duties as full-time doting mother. 

I don’t know if she expected me to be waiting around with fresh-baked biscuits or what, but my schedule these days is pretty packed. 

“You’re going to another fundraiser?” she complained, poking at her cold cereal. “What are you now, like a Savannah socialite or something?”

I snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous, that’s a rich people-on-TV thing.” I pointed to the dogs. “Besides, I don’t think socialites have to pick up anyone’s poop-ay,” echoing the cute pronunciation courtesy of the new season of Ted Lasso. 

As I sashayed out to my old lady Mercedes with the side mirror held on with duct tape, I was still giggling at the notion of myself as some sort of Bridgerton reject, wig askew and dancing like a Grateful Dead hippie while everyone else was doing the waltz.

I have to admit, however, my calendar has brimmed lately with benefits for a bevy of good causes in our not-so-polite society. But how could I be a snooty socialite if I’m wearing sneakers—and I’m the emcee?    

I was deeply honored to help set the stage at Front Porch Improv a few weeks back for Planned Parenthood Southeast’s annual event to keep reproductive freedom accessible in the face of draconian hypocrisy (explain again how punishing abortion with the death penalty “values life.”) PPSE continues to fight for justice in Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi, which former president Staci Fox used to call the “easy states,” but then Tennessee  and Wyoming got all up in this hog-wrestling match for the worst place in the country to be anything but stale, pale and male. (How revolting that the Georgia Assembly just passed SB140, the odious bill that denies gender-affirming healthcare to trans kids.) 

Anyway, this was no stodgy charity ball: “Hell Hath No Fury” featured fierce storytellers and badass activists Rachel Gosetti, Tenee Baker, Chris Williams, and Justice Maur, the latter of whom defiantly claimed her body’s place in the world by daubing on marsh mud like war paint. T-shirts locally printed by the champions at Celebritees with Panhandle Slim’s pugilistic art are still available—let’s see who else can catch these hands. 

This dynamic, inspiring fundraiser was dreamt up by international theatrical superstars Cecilia Tran Arango and Natasha Drena, both of whom taught me everything I know about entertaining an audience. (You can witness my mad moderator skills next Wednesday, March 29 at the Jewish Cultural Arts Festival.)

In fact, Natasha took a short break from her role as Artistic Director for Savannah Repertory Theater’s soulful production of Once (check out the rest of the captivating debut season) to serve as magnetic Mistress of Ceremonies for another fabulous fundraiser that weekend: Soup It Up is the chilly season’s most highly-anticipated feast to support Loop It Up Savannah, the afterschool arts program that executive director Molly Lieberman has lovingly grown into an educational empire bringing literacy, mindfulness, and civic engagement to classrooms across the county and beyond. 

The featured bowls of deliciousness came from B. Matthew’s, Green Truck Pub, The DeSoto, and Sweet Patricia’s, and the guest list gathered Who’s Who of Savannah’s social justice community (as a matter of fact, someone with a quirky sense of humor made an actual Bingo card.) From Emmaus House’s Ariana Berksteiner to Shelter from the Rain’s Jennifer Graham to Deep Center’s new executive director, Dr. Holly Whitfield, the room sparkled with the hard work of heroes making this city better for all its citizens. 

Judging from the gorgeous attire (including a stunning fuschia taffeta ensemble by honoree Tahisha Wright), I suppose someone could make a case that it was indeed a Savannah socialite situation. After all, it was held in the American Legion’s fancy ballroom, but thanks to juicy jams from DJ Jose Ray, there was absolutely no waltzing. 

I am never one to turn down an invitation to lunch, and a few days later I found myself at the United Way’s Women Who Rule banquet courtesy of my favorite eye expert, Dr. Erika Morrow (she also happens to be Savannah Sideways’ very first paid subscriber.) Dr. Erika sponsored a table for the staff of ForSight Unique Eye Care and a few lucky others, joining more than 800 other women (and a handful of nervous-looking men) to fill the cavernous Savannah Convention Center on Hutchinson Island. 

The massive crowd was no issue for event chair and emcee Cecilia, who swept in wearing a sequin cape like a boss after the national anthem was flawlessly delivered by local siren Laiken Williams. Everywhere I turned, there were women who work for a living, contribute to society, and manage to look gorgeous doing it: Founder of human trafficking refuge Tharros Place and attorney Julie Wade, realtor and tireless uplifter of others Jodi Clark, Savannah State University exec and chronic board member LeAndrea Mikell. 

But I’ll bet every single woman in that room would spray sweet tea out of her nose if you called her a socialite. That includes United Way Executive Director and down-to-earth CEO Brynn Grant, who reminded: “This is not charity. This is a strategic investment in improving the quality of life for our neighbors.” 

The Women Who Rule campaign specifically raises money to provide gas cards, car repairs, and other transportation support so that local folks can get to work and school with ease, and it was exciting to see a live screen showing the small QR donations add up to over $20,000 over the course of our chicken salads. 

Of course, huge events like this don’t happen without generous corporate sponsors, none of which was a hotel. Perhaps someone ought to inform the hospitality folks that reliable transportation is one of the major barriers to a functional workforce? 

Anyway, I don’t think my whirlwind week makes me a socialite. The whole point of “polite society” is that it’s exclusive, and these Savannah fundraisers were the opposite of elitist: Open to everyone, affordable to attend, and supporting the effort to bring freedom and justice to all. 

So my dear daughter will have to get used to the fact that mama might have other engagements as the spring season takes hold.   

But she can be my plus-one any time. 

The only upper crust that interests me is pizza ~ JLL

Furious with Cecilia