Looking for Luck in All the Right Places: How to St. Patrick’s Day in Savannah 2024

Hark, do I hear the sacred tones of bagpipes over the holler of the early morning trains? 

Are the Forsyth fountain mermen spraying viridian hues from their bugles as the streets fill with even more tipsy tourists than usual? 

Is that an actual leprechaun peeking out from behind the azaleas?

The intoxicating spirit of erin go bragh is indeed permeating the almost-spring air as all of these harbingers herald the lead-up to our city’s grand St. Patrick’s Day celebration.

Well, except the last one, which turned out to be a squirrel that got someone’s tinsel crown stuck to its tail. 

In any case, while some faraway readers may still be hibernating from wintry weather, here the Hibernian season is indubitably upon us, my dearest lads, lassies, and lassos. (Thanks to charming YouTuber The Click for introducing a much-welcomed gender-neutral term into the holiday lexicon.)

From kelly sport coats to mint julep-tulle prom dresses to the poor souls gastrically unprepared for a breakfast of corned beef and Jameson, Savannah is representing at least 50 shades of green at the moment. (Note that 2024’s celebration takes place a day early on March 16 to keep Sunday sacred for hangovers.)

If we haven’t already, it is time to don our emerald-colored glasses and put aside any delusions of getting any work done for the rest of the week, because even if we don’t have the slightest strand of Irish DNA in our bones, we all slay sláinte today, OK? (It’s apparently pronounced “slan-chuh,” but the rest of the rhyme still works, ya muckers.)

Savannah’s historic district already serves as party ground zero all year long, but forget what Brené Brown taught you because all boundaries are off: Physically limited by the bridge and river on the west and north respectively, the official “festival ordinance zone” swells all the way to Victory Drive and the Truman Parkway for one day only, which means containers carrying alcoholic beverages—including the $1 recyclable aluminum to-go cup available at a bevy of local businesses—can be open. However, zippers must remain closed, as public urination is still a misdemeanor everywhere. 

Of course, you’ll have to venture deeper downtown to catch the 200th iteration of the city’s vaunted parade as it snakes its way through its picturesque route like one of St. Patrick’s own serpents in no hurry to leave town. To find a spot to stand, however, you’ll need the luck of the Irish—or rather, the strong work ethic and indefatigable determination of Savannah’s Irish ancestors, emulated by the loyal folks who camp for days to stake claim in their favorite square. 

But sometimes we have to make our own luck, to paraphrase Ernest Hemingway, who was not Irish but often served as a boisterous bodyguard for Dublin-born James Joyce. And like those two famous literary revelers, it’s tempting to give into our primitive urges to eat, drink, fight, and fu—*ahem* forget our manners on St. Patrick’s Day in Savannah. 

But listen up, all ye lassoes: Whether this is your first snake rodeo or your family has been swinging around their shillelaghs for generations, everyone can benefit from a few boundaries of their own. 

Here are a few that can help keep the fun flowing:

Remember and respect tradition. While its reputation as a whiskey-soused brannigan is far more warranted than anyone could imagine, the origins of the day are meant to honor faith and heritage. If you really want to party as hard as the Irish, you can get up at dawn and start with church.

Stay hydrated. No matter what your preferred beverage, it will never hurt to fill that cute new recyclable to-go cup with water once in a while—as long as it’s not not from the Forsyth fountain’s mermen.

Leave the red lipstick behind. Yes, the custom of kissing the Benedictine boys while they marched used to be adorable. But chasing down teenagers to slurp on their faces seems more than a wee bit rapacious in the post-#MeToo era. On a related note, no pinching anyone on any part of their body, even if they're not wearing a lick of green. No licking either, obviously.

Get high. Yes, weed is basically decriminalized within the city limits, but cops have a way of finding a way to fine you, and anyway, we’re talking about physical elevation. If you start feeling overwhelmed by the crowds, make a fast escape to catch the view from atop one the city’s many parking garages and rooftop lounges, or if you’re blessed to know a member, The Chatham Club. However, if you see a leprechaun up there, you’re not just high, you’re hallucinating.

When the going gets wild, the smart head south. Although 2024’s “control zone” is meant to minimize the muck and contain the messiest folks, post-parade shenanigans still tend towards the rambunctious on the cobblestoned streets. Lots of locals have begun decamping for the festival zone’s southern borders, where one can swill away the afternoon in peace at Over Yonder, Lone Wolf Lounge, and Two Tides. If you’re looking to avoid the donnybrook altogether, you might want to continue somewhere even further south, like Jacksonville. 

For all y’all who aren’t in Savannah right now, this salacious savagery either sounds intriguing or terrifying; I assure you, it’s both.

Those of us sipping a flask of Jameson at 8am and watching the green jackets gather in the squares are probably wondering how we got so lucky. 

It’s OK, we’re allowed to pinch ourselves. 

Irish you a bonny fine time ~ JLL

If I look like this to you in person, you might need to lay off the sauce