When Buddy Shows You Who He Is, Believe Him

I’ve been in the room with Buddy Carter plenty of times, but never quite this close. 

Sitting at a conference table two feet away from the District 1 U.S. Representative—whose given name is Earl LeRoy, by the way; no wonder he goes by such an elevated sobriquet—I could clearly see the middle part in his hair and the glint of his lapel pin, and I thought maybe, just maybe, I could smell the fear. But maybe it was just his drugstore cologne.

I hadn’t planned on this tête-à-tête; frankly, I’ve covered him enough to know the futility of talking sense to this man. But about 20 us activists showed up at Buddy’s office at 6602 Abercorn #105B Monday to support Rachael Gosetti, who had an appointment with our federal representative to let him know how poorly he was serving the women and girls of his district with his recent vote against the Right to Contraception Act and his general hostility towards reproductive freedom. 

“I went into it knowing no one is going to change Buddy Carter’s mind about abortion,” explained Rachael, who serves as the Vice President of Savannah Federation of Democratic Women.

“The idea was to make him uncomfortable to make him listen to people who don’t think like he does.” 

Turns out, a bit of discomfort was had by all. After accompanying Rachael into office waiting room, its walls festooned with photos of Buddy with his favorite coup leader president, we were surprised and a little suspicious when his staff invited all of us to join the conservative congressman around the conference table (I felt especially cautious, as I recently referred to Buddy as a “sycophantic fascist dipshit” in this space.) But we figured nothing too dangerous could happen with the news cameras rolling, other than possibly be slathered with BA.5 variant.  

“Look, folks, let’s just be civil,” said Buddy slowly, his face arranged into that familiar expression where he knits his eyebrows together and nods, ostensibly meant to convey earnestness but mostly makes him look like his mommy turned off the cartoons while he was having his afternoon glass of milk. 

He cited his “very strong beliefs” about the preciousness of life and his experience as a “healthcare professional” (he’s a pharmacist; they deal in pills, not people), then launched into various unscientific arguments championed by anti-abortion groups and mansplaining about contraception. He never broke with the sincere schoolboy shtick, and as I watched him blink like a lost lemur looking at a roomful of bobcats, I realized Buddy truly believes his own bull.

This is Buddy’s pretending-to-care face

Asked how he justifies the harm of forcing women to give birth in a state where more mothers die in childbirth than in any other, he responded by saying “life is precious” eleventeen more times, demonstrating that his mind works in a very small circle. (Nevertheless, he is clever enough to have made himself disgustingly rich since being elected to Congress. For real, check out the graph.) 

Several attempts were made to poke a hole in his condom of self-righteous hypocrisy, from pointing out that the consequences of the Roe reversal will increase poverty and crime to presenting the logical fallacy of women bearing more responsibility for unwanted pregnancies than the men who cause them. 

City of Savannah alderperson and social action superhero Linda Wilder Bryan appealed to him as one public servant to another: “Mr. Carter, I respect your position, I also have to answer to my constituents,” she said calmly, folding her hands. “How do you feel about castration?”

Buddy looked bewildered at the peals of laughter. “No one has ever asked me that before,” he said with a little laugh as the irony finally landed. 

Our Linda chuckled back. “No, but really. You want to talk about humanity? Make some humane decisions.” 

He sighed and shifted uncomfortably in his chair, signaling his assistant to announce that our time was almost up. But not before Izzy Smith, who along with recent Georgia Tech grad May Lawver represented the college-aged contingency’s clear-eyed temerity, asked what resources he plans to bring to the women and young girls in his district who will now have to pay for medical expenses, diapers and baby formula. (Oops! Buddy voted against the legislation that allocated the FDA more money to handle the recent shortage that left parents desperate to feed their newborns.)

“Look, let’s not mix the issues,” he said almost sheepishly. “There are resources all over this district, how many did we figure out?” he asked, nodding to his assistant. “Seventy centers?”

Now, wouldn’t it be just amazing if there were 70 centers around here where mothers could access all the healthcare, food, clothing, and financial means needed to raise a healthy child? But the places that Buddy was actually referring to, as clarified by the assistant, were the dozens of fake pregnancy crisis centers in South Georgia, including the oft-mentioned pink posers of Thrive, the Savannah Care Center, and Skylark in Brunswick—none of which include feeding or clothing families on their lists of services. 

At this point, the meeting had reached its stalemated conclusion, Buddy looking so peaked in his khaki suit and green tie I almost felt sorry for him—until he said we should all be more worried about gas prices than bodily autonomy. I noted that in spite of his commitment to traditional values, he was not wearing a wedding ring and asked why. “No one’s ever asked me that before either!” he guffawed as everyone filed civilly out the door, his countenance and khakiness giving the vibes of a relieved marsupial. (Oops, I guess lemurs aren’t marsupials after all, but I can’t let go of the image.)

Add a green tie and voila!

While this unexpected trip into the belly of the beast (lemurs are actually primates, who knew?!) wasn’t exactly enlightening, it was interesting to see what this foe of freedom looks (and smells) like up close. (In addition to his opposition to reproductive freedom, Buddy continues to pledge sniveling fealty to the treasonous gasbag who shall surely stand trial for instigating the Jan. 6 insurrection. He also has an appalling voting record—denying firefighters with cancer? So gross.)

Gosh, Buddy sure loves his lucky khaki suit

I applaud Rachael’s effort to demand an audience with our closet elected federal official, even if he made it clear we were all wasting each other’s time. 

”The goal is to keep speaking out, to keep our talking points in the news, that’s all we can do,” she says, promising more discomfiting actions from SFDW as the November election approaches. 

We must also ramp up efforts to get District 1 candidate Wade Herring elected to Congress this November. Like his pages, donate to his campaign, hit the streets—if you haven’t yet met this solid, smart gent, SFDW is hosting a Zoom Q&A with Wade on Aug 1. 

I do abide: Life is precious, and I do not intend to waste another minute of mine with Buddy Carter. 

Come at us, bro ~ JLL

Ain’t skeered