Mango Go Home

In these unprecedented times, the world teems with miscreant grifters and gaslighting bullies doing their worst to dismantle democracy and drag civilization back to the Dark Ages.

But if we are to believe certain sources, the biggest villain in Savannah right now is a golden retriever named Mango.

This four-legged floofer has escaped his yard multiple times over the last few months, wandering the Ardsley Park neighborhood and occasionally appearing on doorsteps for treats. He’s often spotted a few houses away at the circle park, drawn to the laughter of schoolchildren playing on the wide expanse of clover and grass.

He is notoriously hard to catch, and the furry fugitive never strays far before someone recognizes him. Mango’s hijinks have been well documented, his wet-nosed mug plastered all over social media like a grinning blond outlaw.

The most industrious of these channels is the Ardsley Park Open Chat Facebook page, which serves as a nice community message board to share useful information like the street sweeper schedule and recommendations for plumbers, and of course, alerts of lost and found pets.

It is also a bastion of ugly gossip and unasked-for opinions, the comments section providing salacious entertainment and confirmation that people are terrible, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Mango and his absconding antics—or rather, Mango’s owners, Summer and Jim Hitch—have been the topic of several scalding recent posts, which have unfolded into quite the nasty kerfuffle in the local feed. Last week the fur was really flying, illuminating the precarious line between being a good neighbor and minding your own damn business.

On one shaggy paw, it is definitely concerning to come across a personless dog, especially the same one again and again. Our city sadly overflows with dogs and cats that need advocacy and adoption, and reporting and/or trying to rescue a lost or neglected pet is absolutely the right thing to do.

However, it is a whole different beast to threaten, steal, or lob accusations of abuse of an animal that is clearly well fed, regularly groomed, and sporting a collar and tag. While some posters expressed an appropriate level of worry for Mango’s safety, others made assumptions about Mango’s family that crossed the boundaries of civility.

“We’re mortified,” says Summer of the dozens of crappy comments racking up under photos of that unmistakable snout.

“I’m not on that chat very much, so I hadn’t seen the posts. I didn’t even know Mango had become Facebook famous.”

There’s a touch of irony in the situation for these avowed animal lovers who have fostered 21 dogs with three different local rescue organizations; Mango himself is a foster fail who showed up in the summer of 2022 and never left.

At 84 pounds, he’s a gentle giant who gives stand-up hugs and allows the three Hitch children—Monty, 7; Rosemary, 4; and Wills, 2—to ride him like a pony. But like many rescues, he arrived with quirks to his disposition, not all of them endearing.

There’s the extreme separation anxiety, and crating him causes hysteria. He also has food aggression issues and has to eat outside to avoid any confusion about whose kibble is whose.

But the Hitches accept Mango as he is and have doubled down on time and money for training and treatment, including a daily dose of Doggie Prozac.

“We don’t know what he went through before he came to us, but there must have been trauma,” figures his mama. “For the most part he’s a really happy guy—he just likes to be outside more than anything.”

Summer says the jailbreaks started about six months ago, after Mango discovered he could get through the mechanical gate across the driveway by throwing himself into it until he could fit through a gap. Thus began a one-sided game of Red Rover until the automated part was dismantled; now the couple manually unlatches the fence every time they want to move their cars.

Mango, bred with the instincts of a thousand generations, found another route. When that got patched up, he found yet another. And another. Lured by adventure and probably the scent of cat poop, this master of sneak lies in wait for the slightest opportunity and springs the second it avails itself.

Mango waiting for his big break

The breakouts increased after the holidays, when Jim’s father passed away after a long illness and vigilance was harder to come by. The APOC page abounded with reports of his escapades, most of them forgiving. The goofy gallivanter had been successfully contained for over a month until Summer had surgery that kept her bedridden for the last two weeks.

The babysitter had to manage Mango duty, and while all the kids remained accounted for, her canine charge was spotted at peeing on trees at the circle park, eating cat food left out for the ferals in someone’s the backyard, and standing in the middle of Habersham Street.

“We have four gates, and they’re easy not to latch properly,” Summer told me when I visited last sunny Sunday morning, the children in various states of pajamas and scrambling on the trampoline. Mango trotted behind us as she showed me the various fixes they’d made, though replacing the entire fence isn’t in the budget this year. They’d been trying to avoid a shock collar, but one has been ordered as the next course of action to keep the perp in the perimeter.

“It’s taken time for us to get to the root of the problem. We’re just out here doing our best.”

For the most part, the Hitches have responded to the vilification with humor, posting an adorable Instagram reel and inviting anyone to come by to meet Mango and see how loved he is.

So far no one has, and I am willing to bet that most commenters have not interacted personally with Mango or his family.

As a matter of fact, most of them might not even be neighbors: According to the current census, Ardsley Park has a population of less than 3200, yet the APOC page somehow has 10.8K members. Even more interesting, the Savannah Area Geographical Information System (SAGIS) maps the name of every homeowner in Savannah, and a quick survey reveals that several APOC “top contributors” live miles away from where they cast their criticisms.

It also bears mention that SAGIS shows that Ardsley Park ends at the lane behind 52nd Street, which will likely come as an awkward surprise to many Olin Heights and Gould Estates residents and their real estate agents. (Are we going to start seeing the phrase “Ardsley-adjacent” on Zillow descriptions and tax assessments?)

What is up with these mendacious trolls? Are they just there for the drama? Do they really care about Mango? Or are they just looking for a scapegoat—or escape dog, as it were—on which to project their anxieties and frustration about the world?

That’s not to say that community is only defined by physical boundaries. So many of us connect over the ether—after four years on Substack, I’m finally learning that it’s more than a publishing platform, derrrp—proving that it is possible to also find empathy and solace in the comments section.

Whether we find each other online or on the next block, we must realize and remember that we’re all in this together. Let’s reserve our ire for the true villains currently destroying decades of diplomacy and bleeding out our country’s safety net.

Mango may be an incorrigible truant, but for all of his wild meanderings, he’s actually a fairly obedient guy.

“All anyone has to say to him is ‘Mango, go home’ and he will,” sighs Summer as he lays his head on her lap.

Good to know, should this tricky fella figure out how to squirm out of that shock collar.

And how about no matter what neighborhood we choose to identify with, can we assume that we’re all just out here doing our best?

Tears are fallin' and I feel the pain ~ JLL

He really is a very good boi